Thurday Quickies Part 2: Kids

B: Man, can you imagine in 2 years [name witheld] having a kid? Jesus, in 2 years I'll be lucky if I'm even out of my apartment and have a girlfriend. I'm not planning on kids for 5-7 years at LEAST.

G: I dont even know when ill have kids. I just hope ill get to use the word "planned" when i talk about them.

B: Yeah, you'll use that word when you and the girl are going to "planned" parenthood to discuss your "options".

G: Lucky for me I have some good lines for when i have to go to court for my illegit:

- "Thats impossible your honor, i pulled out"

- "I didnt plan on hitting her, but when she told me she was pregnant i didn't have many options"

- "________" (that's the sound of me not showing up)

I say all that like i wouldn't have moved away the minute she told me.


B: Here's some more:

"I gave her those wire hangers because I thought she'd have to buy extra clothes for the baby"

"Those steps were covered in vegetable oil BEFORE I found out about it, I swear"

"What? We used to always lock each other in closets and blow cigarette smoke through the vents."

"The book 101 ways to kill a fetus? Ok, I have no explanation for that, sorry"

/FIN

Thursday Quickies: Part 1--

Sorry for the hiatus, FE fans... we're very busy in our real lives, but that's no excuse for our lack of awful jokes.

So to keep things rolling, a some quick blurbs, "ripped from the headlines"

From one of our own after witnessing a goth kid:


G: how can parents let their kids dress like that? If my son ever looked like that i would fuck him up. And if my daughter did it I'd molest her (this time there would actually be a reason behind it) and then I'd fuck her up too.

B: I love how you're looking for any excuse to molest your daughter.

her: Dad, I got a B+ on my social studies test!

you: You didn't get an A? (licking fingers) Come with me...

G: And the only reason she didn't get an A was because i molested her the night before the test. Her crying and losing self-esteem really impacted her study habits that night.

/fin