Thurday Quickies Part 2: Kids

B: Man, can you imagine in 2 years [name witheld] having a kid? Jesus, in 2 years I'll be lucky if I'm even out of my apartment and have a girlfriend. I'm not planning on kids for 5-7 years at LEAST.

G: I dont even know when ill have kids. I just hope ill get to use the word "planned" when i talk about them.

B: Yeah, you'll use that word when you and the girl are going to "planned" parenthood to discuss your "options".

G: Lucky for me I have some good lines for when i have to go to court for my illegit:

- "Thats impossible your honor, i pulled out"

- "I didnt plan on hitting her, but when she told me she was pregnant i didn't have many options"

- "________" (that's the sound of me not showing up)

I say all that like i wouldn't have moved away the minute she told me.


B: Here's some more:

"I gave her those wire hangers because I thought she'd have to buy extra clothes for the baby"

"Those steps were covered in vegetable oil BEFORE I found out about it, I swear"

"What? We used to always lock each other in closets and blow cigarette smoke through the vents."

"The book 101 ways to kill a fetus? Ok, I have no explanation for that, sorry"

/FIN