After the abject failure that was the Forced Entry Poetry Corner, we have decided to take the high-brow approach in another direction this week.We here at Forced Entry often take zen-like approach to life, and one common exercise in our offices is to meditate on the existential questions of our time. Such topics include black holes, the end of the universe, and potential rifts in the time-space continuum.
All great topics for another time.
Today, we'd like to consider something equally baffling and mystifying: that is, the common game of Ookie Cookie, found typically at college fraternity initiations and high school lacrosse parties all over the country.
There's so much we don't understand about Ookie Cookie, that we decided the best course of action would be to hunt down and request a quote from the top philosophers of our time on this phenomenon--
Leszek Kolkowski, the socialist Polish philosopher, well-known for his critiques of Marxism.
"Who wins? The guy who cums first? Do you consider yourself a winner if you do that? Perhaps if you win at ookie cookie, you've lost at life."
Dario Salas Sommor, Ph.D. Self-proclaimed "spiritual guide", author, and founder of the Institute for Hermetic Philosophy.
Dario Salas Sommor, Ph.D. Self-proclaimed "spiritual guide", author, and founder of the Institute for Hermetic Philosophy.
"What kind of cookie do you use? If Im gonna eat a cookie covered in cum, it better not be a shitty oatmeal raisin cookie."
Roger T. Aimes, professor of Confucianism and Daoism at the University of Hawaii.
Roger T. Aimes, professor of Confucianism and Daoism at the University of Hawaii.
"Do you consider yourself straight after you played? If you've played, you've managed to get hard and cum to the sight of 4 or 5 other guys jerking off. Call me crazy, but thats fucking gay."
Nicholas Wolstroff, Professor Emeritus at Yale University and author of such lauded works as Divine Discourse and Faith and Rationality.
"Put everything else aside for a second. Say you do play and you "lose"... what could possibly make you eat the cookie? Threats? I definitly consider getting my ass kicked by 5 people a better option than eating a cookie covered in semen."
"Put everything else aside for a second. Say you do play and you "lose"... what could possibly make you eat the cookie? Threats? I definitly consider getting my ass kicked by 5 people a better option than eating a cookie covered in semen."
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