Getting to know our readers

Meet Igor.

Igor stumbled upon our site while googling the phrase "gay Forced Entry", which I think we could all agree is a pretty accurate description of our little waste of web space here.

Igor is from the city of Kiev, Ukraine-- where anal rape is a right of passage, and also a pastime not unlike our love of baseball here in the Americas.

Igor stopped by our humble blog for only a minute, finding us through our article, The Definitive Definition of a Sport-- which, sadly, didn't have unwilling plunging of the anal cavity listed. He left soon after.





This here is Robert.

Robert isn't as far as Igor from our home base of the New York metropolitan area, as he resides in Potomac, Maryland.

Robert is a much more savvy internet user than Igor, a fact that his neckbeard, bowtie, and 17-pound jowels might tip you off to. He has gone further into Google, using the blog search tool to advance his way and find our blog by searching the phrase "humping my wife blog", which led him to our most recent article before this one, The Tuesday Randomizer.

Sorry, Robbie-- the humping my wife blog unfortunately has no affiliation with our blog here. We've asked our wives why they won't share some of their web traffic with us, but they just spit some bleach-smelling white substance at us and laughed.





Finally, we have Peter.

Peter found us by googling the term "someone in a boat".

There are no jokes that can possibly be made by such a boring web search. Thanks, Pete, you ruined this entire fucking column, you vanilla-flavored douche.







Also, the picture of Mike Tyson from our inaugural column, Mike Tyson... A True Champion, remains the single highest reason for our web traffic. If one is going to have a web site called Forced Entry, we can't think of a much better representative than Iron Mike, so if you haven't checked out our tribute to him, now would be a good time to check it out.










Note: These web searches are all real. The pictures may or may not accurately represent the people who made these searches, but I'd say there's about a 90% chance that they are correct.