vs.
This "play-in" match-up will determine who gets to be the fourth and final 16 seed in the big tournament.
We turn it over to the experts--
Dr. Edwin McDouche:
This is an interesting matchup
Lexus Guy - I dont like the way he talks. When I see those commercials I feel like hes talking down to me, and its made me feel uncomfortable when Im around Lexus cars. I feel bad for his family because I couldnt imagine waking up to that voice telling me Im late for school. And Im 98% sure his first name is Jeeves.
Anna Nicole Smiths baby - This is just a disaster waiting to happen. What potential does this thing have? Maybe she'll grow up to be just like mom. If we're lucky she'll grow up to be like her older brother. Shes probably already sexually active.
My vote goes for Lexus Guy to advance. He sucks and Ill never set foot in a Lexus as long as I live. Anna Nicole's baby will probably be HIV positive before her 6th birthday so we wont have to worry about her for long.
Vote goes to: Lexus Narrator
Sir Winston Assmonger III:
Lexus Guy - I agree with your point on the lexus guy - BUT that is what the copywriters and marketers are aiming for. He's just a D-bag-middle-man to convey the message/brand/lifestyle of what a lexus owner should be like. You might see him advertising for Depends® Adult Dipers next week.
Which makes me think that: Anna Nicole Smiths baby is the greater threat here. For the Next 20 something years, we're gonna have to hear about the "fascinating" life of this kid growing up. Based solely on that fact that as an infant she inherited a fortune. It's like the next Paris Hilton in the making. An heiress with no talent but living the high life. PUKE
Vote goes to: Anna Nicole Smith's Baby
Bowlfart Q. Rocketdick:
Definitely an interesting match-up here-- I agree that the Smith baby has already gotten more press time and likely has more money in her short lifetime than I ever will, and her whine is more than likely only slightly less annoying than her mother's after a meth binge, but at the end of the day I feel like she'll be just as obscure as Kurt Cobain's kid, who I know nothing about and hope it remains that way.
The Lexus Guy on the other hand is a complete douche for a few reasons. 1- His voice is that mix of smarminess and "rich guy charm" that makes one want to drive a phillipshead directly into his chode, and 2- it reminds me of those awful Christmas commercials, where the husband tricks his wife into thinking he didn't get her anything "special" then surprises her with a new Lexus with a big bow on it, and the spoiled whore gives a little nod like she was expecting it all along.
So my deciding vote goes for the Lexus guy to enter the tournament of 64. And I hope each match-up's conversation is as cathartic as this one was.
Deciding vote goes to: Lexus Narrator
The Lexus Narrator moves on to the field of 64.
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