Catching up with an old friend

I got bored so I emailed this girl who I went to school with just to bullshit with her. And it started as a casual conversation, but I forgot what a boring person she is and how every conversation always comes back to this Marc character. So, to pass the time I tried to see how many Steven Seagal movie titles I could fit into my replies. (total: 7)

She hasn't gotten back to me since, so I guess she caught on.

My responses are in bold, and all Seagal movies are in italics.

Whats up Beth?


Wow How the shit are you? I'm doing ok. So what have you been up to?


Not a whole lot, working and doing my thing. Whats up with you?


Working, saving up for my vacation to St. Pete Beach, and to have my tattoo finished.


What tattoo did you get?



well since I last saw you I got two. I have the grateful dead sun on the lower right side of my back, and my sign of the zodiac between my shoulder blades (that's the work in progress)


That's cool. I want to get my left shoulder done, but the whole money thing is standing in my way.



So what made you E-mail me?


I went to send an email before and when I typed the letter J all the email contacts who start with a J come up and I saw your name.


isn't that a great feature.


It is. Especially for lazy people like me.



I hear that. Yo can you believe that Marc is still dating that Hoe? yeah I think they live together or something.


Whos the hoe?


That chick he was dating in school, Beth (not me, don't be retarded). She hates me and I don't care.


Thanks for clearing that up, I thought you were talking in 3rd person for a second.



shut up, ass

Sounds like you're a little under siege.



Any who, You should come down for a visit sometime. We'll hang out and get drunk it's a good time. Have you talked to Steve or Marc lately?


No I haven't talked to him in a while. I think hes above the law.


Marc? He's above nothing. Put this way, him and I are friends but I have almost no respect for him.


Wow it sounds like hes on deadly ground. Why did you come to that executive decision?



Well, Long story short. I liked him a long time ago, and he told me that Beth and him had broken up. so we were What ever for a short time. Then I come to find out that is not only still with Beth but cheating on her with someone else too. And when I tried to confront him with the hole thing, he never returned my calls.


He was cheating with another girl too? Id be out for justice if I were you. Have you talked to him since?


yeah because the one night he had the balls to show up at omalleys (my hang out). He had just walked in the door when I pushed back out of it. I yelled a bit he had no explanation. I'm over it.


Yeah you just have to let your exit wounds, you know? Im sure he knows hes marked for death.